You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
