Don't you send me to vm
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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