Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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