My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
