HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm drive I can fine osifer
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
