Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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