i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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