wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize