Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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