is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
tequila makes me forget i have legs
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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