Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
