can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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