and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
