You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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