If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
