Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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