these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
