and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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