Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
