last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize