i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
