Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
