what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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