you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
