it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
