Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize