wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This is my gift to your gina
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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