its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
