first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize