They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
