That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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