I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
