would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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