i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
