I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
