I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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