I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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