Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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