dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
