I cockslap morals
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
