I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
cat food counts as protein by the way
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
