Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
