I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
