What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize