You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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