Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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