Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
