I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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