her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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