I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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