Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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