you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Randomize
