i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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