first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
