I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize