One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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