even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
