Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
splinters make it hard to masturbate
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
