There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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