he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
did i just pee glitter
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
