Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize