she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
