JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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