Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
