Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
