Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
