Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
