your parents love me but you hate me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
