there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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