I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
