no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
