Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
