dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
