Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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