Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's never too late to be topless.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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