Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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